


Royals - Dreams of Shili Variant

by jairyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anisoka, F/M, One Shot, Star Wars - Freeform, betrayal and depression, dreams of shili, vadful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 11:29:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: This came as an idea from a dream and didn't end up as long as I hoped, but I liked it anyways. I still plan to write the Dreams of Shili sequel but this isn't it, this takes place sort of in what I established with the first part, but a lot of the events are different.Ahsoka got to train as a Jedi despite still being the heir to the Shili throne, the promise that she'd return to her rightful duties when it was time to become queen. Just before that however, Order 66 happens and she barely survives a fiery crash back to Coruscant. Believing she was killed, Anakin (who was not her master but her lover), sides with Sidious against the Jedi. This time though, his betrayal is quite public for all to see (no Vader suit). Mourning her losses and heartbroken over the turn of events, Ahsoka returns home not knowing where else to go. Over time she sinks deeper and deeper into depression, until one day Anakin arrives on Shili to assimilate them into the new empire. Will the reveal of her survival be her death sentence or his salvation?If people like the concept, I might expand on it in the future, but it's just a brief one shot for now. Needed a mental break from other stories.Lauren Aquilina - King
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano/Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	Royals - Dreams of Shili Variant

The war was lost, she almost hadn’t survived. It was time to pick up the shattered pieces of her soul and go home. She’d be endangering everyone, but she didn’t really have a choice now. She had nowhere else to go. At least amongst her own people, she could disappear. The likelihood of being spotted in the crowd, slim. But even though there were millions of places to disappear to on Shili, she’d be hidden away somewhere fairly obvious. And people wouldn’t recognize her for more reasons than just her attire. 

She threw up the hood of her cloak and weaved through the crowd, keeping her head down. She just had to get back to her ship and she’d be home free. 

She looked up when the screen on the building in front of her changed pure white before starting the announcement. Other drifters had all stopped to watch too, so no one was paying attention to her. Her heart sunk as Palpatine, now wearing a dark cloak down over his face began to speak. His speech full of lies, spewing dissent and fear throughout the crowd.

The Jedi order had committed treason, they’d been executed. The war had ended, the separatists had surrendered. And he, glorious as he was, was reorganizing the two factions into a glorious new empire. She’d have rolled her eyes if it didn’t hurt so much. She was about to keep walking when she heard his name.

Her breath caught in her throat as she blinked back up at the screen. There he was, alive but... twisted by the chancellor’s lies. She could feel the darkness from here and it sent a shiver straight through her. The chosen one, he’d been essential in stopping the Jedi threat. He’d turned on his own order, he supported the new empire. His betrayal of everything they’d stood for, right there, laid out in front of them. 

She couldn’t listen anymore. She pushed her way through the crowd, slipping into the spaceport and back to her hanger. She numbly pushed the buttons to start the ship and fly away from the greatest heartbreak of her life. She set the nav computer for Shili and pulled the lever. Then she sat back and wept. 

He’d chosen the chancellor over her, over the other Jedi, over everything. He’d chosen the darkness, the path of anger and horror and hatred. He might still be out there, but Anakin Skywalker was dead. She doubted he knew she’d survived that crash, but he’d been responsible for what had caused it. She’d seen no regret in his eyes, his choice was clear. And maybe it was better this way. If he believed she was dead, then nobody would come looking for her on Shili. 

_So why didn’t it feel better?_

—-

She climbed the stairs up to the tram, each step heavier and more exhausting than the last. She pressed the button for the palace station, but tonight she couldn’t enjoy the view. She sunk to the floor beneath the level of the windows and rocked back and forth. How could he have done this? Betraying the Jedi... betraying the people? Betraying _her?_ She’d believed their love was real, she’d believed their love would save them. But apparently... that wasn’t true, and she didn’t know how she was supposed to live with that. 

There had to be some other reason, he wasn’t that kind of man. What had the chancellor told him? How had he convinced him to join him? She’d have tried to get back to him if she truly believed it was possible. But after everything that happened, it was too dangerous to stay and she had no choice but to run away like a coward and let everyone believe she was dead. Including him. 

Only the guards met her when she crossed the bridge, she showed them the royal crest she’d had since she was four. They instantly stood up at attention and bowed to her deeply. She took a deep breath and headed through the parted doors. It had been twenty-two years since she’d last seen these halls. Barely remembering them at all. But she knew the way past the statues, up the main staircase and to her room. 

She closed the door carefully, not wanting anybody else to know she’d returned until she had to face them tomorrow. It was painful enough as it was, tonight would be one of mourning, not a happy reunion. She unclasped her cloak and let it fall to the floor as she drifted numbly towards the closet. She shed her bag, her shoes, everything as she reached in a drawer and pulled out a dark nightgown she slipped on and wrapped around her twice before tying it off. 

Even though she’d been gone for so long, her people always believed she’d be back, so it was no surprise at all they’d kept her wardrobe updated to fit her when she returned. She was the princess, after all. Her father had let the Jedi take her when she was younger with the promise she’d return when it was time to take the throne. In one way, this fallout was perfect timing, one month before her twenty-sixth birthday. In one month, she’d be the queen. But now because she’d been a Jedi... she was a fugitive. And yet, a sitting target.

She really had no choice but to return to Shili, but at least if anyone had heard the news by now, they were probably certain she was dead. The crash had been violent, fiery, too close... and the way it had slammed into the tarmac, would have made anyone believe no one could have survived it. Not even a force user. But she had, somehow. Every part of her ship reduced to a crumpled ball of metal except the small pocket she’d braced herself in. 

She rubbed her arms and dropped onto the end of her bed. She’d crawled away and slipped into the crowd before anybody had come to investigate. As soon as the clones had turned on her, she’d known all was lost. But when she’d hit the ground, all she’d been thinking about was him. Him and that dark gold look of anger in his eyes before everything had changed.

The months passed as she numbly drifted from task to task. In order to protect her identity, she was covered from head to toe in fabric, jewelry, paints and even sometimes masks. Often having to sit through hours a day of being fitted and dressed or undressed or fussed over. But each passing day she cared less and less and less. She was nothing but an empty shell, gutted by the losses, the betrayal, by the war and by the pageantry. 

She tried to ignore the news but sometimes she missed him so much she just needed to hear his name, even if she hated everything that followed it. And each night she went to bed alone, she died a little more. It was a big, comfortable bed that brought her no comfort at all. She would just toss and turn, restless every night, awoken repeatedly by nightmares, and relief only came when she was completely exhausted. And even then, it was brief and barely enough to get through the next day. 

—-

She sat down stiffly on the throne, another day like any other. Her birthday had come and gone. Her coronation barely a memory in her conscious brain. She sat there, covered from head to toe. The world could see her but not the dying woman underneath. She listened to her people like she always did, helping wherever she could, but all of it was a blur. She couldn’t remember anything she did from day to day. She didn’t know how much time had passed. The only thing she was ever truly aware of anymore was the empty space he used to fill and the slow beating of her broken heart. 

She’d truly believed someday she’d bring him home. That he’d sit by her side as her king. That whether her people approved or not, he’d be with her always. And not having him was like drinking poison and waiting to die. Some nights she’d get so weak, the idea of calling him so tempting she’d be halfway through dialing before she’d shut it down and go back to bed. Did he miss her as much? Or at all? Did that gaping wound make him bleed? Or was it even a scratch?

She sat up a little straighter and looked around as though this heavy fog had suddenly lifted. She wasn’t sure what she’d just felt but her heart had taken it and run with it. She tried to blink through the makeup and make sense of the piercing cold that had shot straight through her. But before she could come up with an explanation, the double doors to the throne room opened and in he walked. 

Her heart picked up the pace, pounding in her chest demanding to be felt, demanding to be free. What was he doing here? Did he know she was here? Did he know she was alive? She was so covered from head to toe, she couldn’t run even if she tried, trapped in luxurious armor with her thumping heart.

He gave a quick bow, the kind that was meant to look like respect but only out of necessity. “Your majesty,” he said, the tone in his voice distant and dark. “I’ve come on behalf of the new Empire. We would like to form an alliance with you, and your people.”

She knew exactly what that really meant considering all she’d heard on the news just waiting for one mention of him. But it didn’t sound like he knew the truth, that this was just part of his new job and he didn’t care who suffered from it.

“I had a feeling this day would come,” she said, trying to keep her voice even and continue to sound like the thoughtful queen that carried weight and authority. She felt none of those things though. “How would an alliance like this benefit us?”

“We can offer protection, security, structure.” He paced around as he often did, his hands behind his back as he recited practiced words. She couldn’t really listen to them, they sounded empty and hollow. Or _he_ did.

“If the war has ended, why would we need protection?” she asked, struggling to sound like she was focused on the conversation and not her racing heart in response to his dark and strangling presence.

“I imagine you’ve not heard, m’lady,” he replied, turning his golden eyes back on her. If they didn’t contain such malice, she might have found them oddly beautiful. “There are still Jedi survivors out there, plotting against the Empire, trying to undermine all the good it is doing. They inspire people through false statements and convince them to lay down their lives for a futile cause.”

She tried to swallow calmly to avoid giving an obvious reaction to his anger towards the Jedi, given that she was in an incredibly perilous situation herself. Not only was she the ruler of an entire planet, she was one of those survivors that appeared to disgust him. It felt like none of what they’d shared the past few years mattered at all anymore. 

“That does sound distressing, indeed,” she replied, struggling to keep her voice even. “Come, we should discuss our options more comfortably.” She couldn’t stand this anymore. She didn’t care why he’d really come, she just wanted one last moment alone with him. She wanted to look upon him one last time, strip the mask from her face. She knew it was a death sentence, but she wanted him to see her eyes as he stabbed her through the heart. She doubted she’d even feel it at this point. And in all honesty, she’d welcome it. The sweet nothing that would never have to feel this pain again.

She rose, slowly. It took a lot of effort to move in all of these heavy clothes and furs. The head piece itself heavier than a dense stone. She waited at the top of the dais, her hand out in expectation, as tradition dictated for her to be escorted down the steps. Though right now it was because her knees were so wobbly, she was certain she’d fall if she went it alone. 

He looked confused for a moment, hesitating to be diplomatic in this scenario. It was clear regardless of the words he’d spoken, he was here to initiate the conquering of her planet, not the slow assimilation. But with several guards and attendants watching, he finally realized he had to at least pretend this was the beginning of an alliance instead of a conquest.

He climbed the steps and offered her his hand, and she took a deep breath before taking it, nodding to him in appreciation. It took a surprising amount of concentration to descend the steps and she wondered how she’d even gotten up to begin with. But the main reason she was distracted was not the heavy garments and trying not to trip, but because of the jolt of electricity that had shot through her the moment they made contact again. 

The feeling was familiar but still surprising, because she’d thought any spark between them had long since disappeared. But to feel it still, after all this time, made her question everything that happened. She tried to watch him with her peripheral vision, to see if he’d given any reaction to it or even if he’d felt it. The only thing she’d seen was him curl his lips slightly as though swallowing a question. 

But she held her tongue, petrified at giving anything away before they were alone again. She pointed the back way out of the throne room, and he escorted her up the other stairs to the meeting hall. She gestured for him to help himself to the available refreshments and took her seat at the far end of the table from the entrance.

“Tell me more of your Empire,” she said carefully. “I confess Shili is quite removed from the politics of the rest of the galaxy.”

He looked momentarily lost in thought before seeming to recover his composure and remember his mission to her planet. Maybe it didn’t mean much at all, but it gave her a strange sense of comfort that regardless of what had happened between them, her presence still gave him pause. Even if he hadn’t quite pieced it together yet, he’d still noticed. Did she dare hope that maybe what she’d witnessed hadn’t been at all what he’d meant to have happen?

Did he still have any feelings for her? Would revealing her identity... could it save him from this path? Or was it a sure-fire way to get herself killed?

She closed her eyes as he talked, listening only to his voice and yearning to hear the whispers of love he’d once spoken to her. The moments in the quiet peace of the night when it was just him and just her and the endless possibilities of the future. She wanted to hear him say her name again, hear the sleepy dreams and burning passion. 

At some point he fell silent and her eyes popped open in disappointment. He’d drifted to the window, his back mostly towards her, staring out across the expanse. She knew before he said anything else, what he would soon ask. He was no longer focused on his assigned task, his curiosity too much to bear. The fact that he’d drawn no weapon on her yet, meant what he was feeling gave him pause. They were alone in the room, he could do anything he wished, but instead, he seemed lost in thought, as though all of the person he pretended to be had been completely forgotten. And once again, he was just a man, just the man she’d once known. 

She reached up in silence, somehow managing to untangle the complicated headpiece and jewelry and lifting it off her face, setting it down on the table. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she slowly stripped away layer after layer of her disguise until she could look at him with her own eyes, unhindered. 

“I confess, your majesty,” he said finally, still staring out the window. “I feel only deception here. There is something you’re not saying, your words are not what they seem.” She felt the rise of anger and sucked in a breath when he turned his piercing eyes on her. 

She watched in frozen uncertainty as his eyes went from dark and accusatory to confusion and then recognition. It had happened so quickly and yet felt like it had taken eternity for him to register she was no longer covered, and her identity was revealed.

“Ahsoka?” he said in surprise and disbelief. His eyes flickered from angry gold, to specks of blue. He moved towards her, as though he suddenly remembered they were magnetic. He caught her by the shoulders and for just a moment she thought she might collapse. She wasn’t sure what reaction she’d expected from him, possibly a murderous one, but instead he’d seemed to light up, as though seeing her had lifted the veil, or he’d removed his mask too; not a physical one like hers, a mental one. She blinked up at him feeling shaky and weak. “You’re alive? You survived?”

She nodded numbly, struggling to form a coherent thought, before she could, he pulled her forward into a tight embrace. She released the air she’d been holding in a strangled cough and sob, clutching at him in desperation, trying to forget everything but him.

“I thought you died! I thought I killed you.” Emotion tremored through his voice as all facades and pretenses faded. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” She sobbed into his robes harder, unable to pull herself together. It was like a release of everything the past few months that had been bottled up and broken. His hands were on her face, his lips right behind them. She closed her eyes and fell into him, not really caring anymore if he failed to catch her and she just kept falling forever.

She shouldn’t forgive him so easily for what he’d done... but, there was no anger in her broken soul, only relief. He loved her, he _still_ loved her. Whatever had happened wasn’t what it had seemed. She didn’t care about right or wrong, she didn’t care about anything anymore except him. It felt like she was coming back to life, rising from the grave. And maybe it felt that way, because he was too.

She’d been numb for so long, every touch sent so many signals to her brain, she felt like she was going to short circuit or something. She grabbed his hand and led him back to the door, up the back stairs, through the secret door into her closet and to her bed.

She didn’t care, she just needed to feel him again, to feel anything again. No matter what the future held, she’d missed him far too much to let him slip away with nothing. As soon as the doors were locked, she leapt into his arms, making him fall back onto the bed. She was over him, kissing his face, his jaw, his neck. 

He didn’t protest, responding just as eagerly to her as though he too had been numb and lost and dead. She didn’t have time to feel regret for not calling, she’d had no way of knowing he’d still want her after what she’d seen. 

She fumbled with his robes trying to pull them apart but before she managed to bare his whole chest, he rolled her over, so he was on top. There was need in his touches, but they were slower, more deliberate, less frantic. He wanted to savor the moment; she’d just been rushing. Not because she wanted it over with, but because she’d been so afraid he’d stop it before they got too far. 

He sat there, straddling her, his hands on either side of her waist, looking her over as though memorizing every detail. “The chancellor... he told me you were dead. He said... if I didn’t help him, everything we’d fought for would be lost. He sold me a vision of the future and I bought it.” He hung his head. “After that crash, I died too. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t process anything, I just wanted release and he offered me that.” He dropped down to his elbows and rested his forehead on her stomach. “I couldn’t feel you anymore. I couldn’t feel anything.”

When he looked up at her face this time, his eyes were more blue again; begging for forgiveness. She felt the truth in his words, understood what had led him down this path, felt his craving for the light that was being ripped away from him by his once trusted friend. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know what I saw right before it happened,” she admitted. “I thought I did, but I’m not sure anymore. I don’t know how I survived it, and maybe for the longest time, I wasn’t really sure I did. I’ve been drifting along like a ghost, missing you, missing _us_. And when I saw the news, when I saw you take his side... I didn’t know what else to do. So, I went home.” He leaned down and kissed her softly on her abdomen. “Anakin,” she whispered. He looked up again, his eyes full of concern, but blue. No gold this time. “Stay with me. I don’t care what it takes, or what the risk. Don’t go back, don’t go back.”

“My loyalty is to you, and you alone,” he breathed into her skin. She felt it in his kisses, in his touch, in his tangled embrace. She didn’t know what to believe about what happened. She knew he’d done horrible things, that whispered across his skin and echoed in her senses. But she also knew what led him to it wasn’t by his design. It might not even have been his choice. What she was sure of was his love though. It had never wavered or dimmed, just like hers had never waned.

They were together again; they were alive again. And they would take on the galaxy again, just as they’d always done. It was time for him to wear his crown and take his throne. Side by side, they’d rule the world.


End file.
